Dear Husband,
I bet when I was beautifully walking down the aisle in my stunning white dress certain aspects of our coming marriage weren’t crossing your mind, specifically all of the things that would later be classified as gross.
Like the birth of our children and the hours of labor that would lead up to the actual delivery. To be fair, this one kind of grosses me out, too. Though I find it completely remarkable and miraculous, there’s a lot about it that I don’t find appealing either. Regardless, I’m sure my water breaking and gushing out of me like the release of hot springs wasn’t anything you ever envisioned for our marriage. And let’s not get started on how “ugly” me being in my most vulnerable state was going to end up being.
Before saying our “I do’s” I’m sure it didn’t cross your mind that you’d ever walk in on me in the bathroom and proclaim, “Why are you using the cheese grater on your feet?!” When in fact it really was a foot file from Amazon that was serving its intended purpose and just happens to also look like a cheese grater.
Or that time when we were enjoying a little make-out sesh and my nose decided it was a perfect time to get nice and bloody. Granted, this is something that I never intended on happening and it completely horrified me. I felt terrible! Still, the frequency of my unfortunate, gross, bloody noses never made me think that it’d happen at a time like that. Thankfully, we got to laugh that one off together.
Should we even get started on my habit of pooping with the door open or the frequent and not so lady-like farts that I freely release in the comfort of our own home? To be fair, I forewarned you of these things during our dating period. I still find that you don’t seem any less grossed out when you walk into the bathroom or when we’re snuggled up on the couch together and I let one rip.
This may be my favorite of all as I find myself completely unbothered by it while your stomach turns at the sight of it. Sharing slobbery snacks and drinks with our kiddos. The way you watch in disgust while you shake your head not knowing “how I can do that.” Hey, if they’re going to bring it to my face, I’m going to take it. I’m also not a big fan of wasting, so if that means I’ll be sharing a treat or two with them, so be it.
I’m sure the list could go on and on with all the things you’ve been too kind to never mention but still make you question your choice in me. But still, you choose me, day in and day out despite all the nasty little quirks I bring to our marriage. For that, I love you even more than imaginable.
Besides, we didn’t touch base in this letter on all of the gross things I’VE accepted that YOU’VE brought into our marriage.
But that’s a letter for another time. This was for our outlasting love that conquers even the grossest endeavors. Thanks for being my partner through it all.
Love, Your Wife
