Thou Shalt Laugh:: Finding Laughter in Marriage

The secret to a long life—laughing.
The secret to a long marriage—laughing together. 

Humor in a marriage is very important. I think finding the funny side to things can help.  My husband and I laugh a lot, even when we want to cry. Sometimes laughter is the cure.

Finding out I was pregnant at age 37 was a big surprise. I already had 2 girls.  The husband had already scheduled his vasectomy (can you hear the ironic laughter) so we were on our way. So after the very traumatic start of not finding out I was pregnant until 13 weeks, it was hard to believe, hard to digest, hard to imagine.  But when I did finally see I was in pregnancy #3, my first thought was IT HAS TO BE A BOY. Oh please please please.  I think half of me thought this is God’s gift to me, to have the boy my husband and family wanted me to have. 

Well, you can guess what I found out. Yes…another girl. Pink is my life.  So I went and got pink cupcakes and was ready to present them to my family and husband. How would he react? Angry? Dissaponited? Sad? More like shocked.  So what did we do? We laughed.  Yes, we laughed about it!  We try and not take ourselves too seriously. We can only control certain things and one of those is our attitudes. 

So, in order to reflect on the sacredness of  marriage, love, and relationships, I will refer you to those who speak the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of love…comedians of course. Those that make us laugh, think, and say the things we are all thinking but don’t have the cahoonas to say out loud. I have been married for almost 14 years, together 17 years.  These are the 10 relationship commandments, as spoken by those who make us laugh and then think.  

Thou shalt tread carefully around religious difference.
-Sara Silverman             

Successful long-term cohabitation warrants a pat on thy back.
-Jerry Seinfeld 

Thou shalt learn that domesticity is not an aphrodisiac.
-Margaret Cho

Do unto thyself as thy would have others do unto thee.
-Woody Allen  

“Knowing” thy partner carries consequences.
-Steve Martin

Remember to compromise.
-Chris Rock

Thou shalt learn patience from dealing with in-laws.
-Joan Rivers

Thou shalt bite thy tongue even when thy partner is a halfwit.
-David Sedaris

Honor thy commitments, year after year.
-George Carlin

Honor thy partner’s strengths and accept thine own weaknesses.
-Roseanne Barr

Some pertain more to us than others, but here is what I know. Marriage is hard. Yes, we have times we cry, but the laughing outnumbers those. Yes, we have times where we have to have serious conversations.  There is a time for everything, but make sure you make time to laugh with each other, be silly with each other, talk to each other, and listen to each other.  

We watch a lot of comedy shows about relationships on TV and Netflix. This lets us see other people go through what we do. This helps us understand each other. This helps us laugh. This helps us not take ourselves too seriously.  This also opens up. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

And if there was an 11th Commandment, it would have to be “thou shalt laugh.”