Here are my top 4 tips to slay this (single) mom thing:
If you’ve kept your household moving this week, you’re a mom–single or not–and mostly have your stuff together… chances are, you’re killin’ it! I am a super busy single mom! I work full time, I go to school, work part-time, attempt to have a life, and I moonlight as a writer…
I’m fine… Finding ways to balance, keep stress down, and keep it all together is challenging to say the least, but here is a glimpse of how I keep it all together (ha!)…or at least try.
The truth is (or at least as I choose to see it) that nobody really has it all together. We all have things that we are naturally good at, and we all have to make decisions with our time.
So go ahead, cut yourself some slack, quit the comparisons, let go of the mom guilt, pour a glass or cup, and read on mamas!
It’s important in all the craziness and the goings on of life to reassess our priorities, and both our short and long-term goals on the regular. As life changes, our relationships change, schedules change, we need to be flexible enough to change right along with it. Life needs to adjust from one month or season to another. So keep that in mind! What seemed so important 2 years ago, last month, or last week, or heck, even this morning, may not be priority for you today, right now, and you know what? That is completely okay!
Keep things a little fluid, and make time for what is most important! Keep things simple, know your priorities, and everything else will find it’s place, so that may not be on your calendar. Its okay. Sing along with Elsa: “Let it go!”
Now, get your mind outta the gutter, and hear me out on this. As part of my family, I am important to me! Kids need us, obviously. They require so much of our time and attention, and for a very long time they literally cannot live without you! But… a big BUT! But, you need to fill your bucket first, before you can fill anyone else’s. Ladies, [and gents,] you cannot pour from an empty vessel!
Do not neglect your child’s needs for you own, by any means, but, DO get up early, have your cup of coffee or tea alone, stay up for a show after they go to sleep-if you have the energy. Get your favorite magazine and take the time to enjoy it, read your favorite author’s latest, climb that damn mountain, vacation alone-or with girlfriends. Schedule in time for your workout-finding ways to do home workouts are ideal and make things so much easier… pray, meditate, breathe… Use your lunch break for yourself. It’s okay to have non-mommy friends. Get your nails done if that’s in your budget. Get a babysitter now and then when you need it.
I personally require tacos, changes of scenery through frequent getaways, loads of caffeine, and my attitude needs solitude and time to reset by spending time alone to think, and to write.
Whatever it is that fills your bucket. Do that thing!
Just Say No
I’m a people pleaser, people, and while that has a time and place, it has helped me excel and progress in my career. When it came to making friends, it has often left me overextended, stressed, and with the reality that I will most likely be over-promising and under-delivering.
Saying “no” does NOT mean you’re being selfish.
This includes saying no to yourself, your family, even your church, your boss, or your teacher, and heaven forbid-your children… sometimes. There just isn’t enough of you to go around, and you need to do some boundary setting! People will be more respectful if you are consistent with your boundaries and give of your time when you have time.
Balance is a delicate thing. Keep up the struggle, make smart decisions, and live within your means. Finding balance is probably the most difficult challenge for any busy parent. Work to live. Spend your time and treasure on those you value, and fill your bucket, so that you may fill others’.
You are never guaranteed tomorrow, do plan for your future, but don’t be so busy preparing for your future that you forget to enjoy today, and make a life for yourself now! You are in your life, quit waiting for it to start, until that job, that relationship, you meet this goal, whatever it is. Be present and always tell and show those that you love and value how much you treasure them!
You can do this mamas! Keep on keepin’ on!